My life as a Never Nude!

Yes, I am in a Muslim country and I had no intention of coming here and being naked a lot. Nevertheless, I had no idea how infrequently I would be seeing more than three square inches of my skin at a time. I am never nude here because it is really, really cold. When I sleep at night, I am typically wearing two pairs of pajama pants, multiple shirts and/or sweater, and just one pair of socks. The only part of my body visible at night is my face, since I pull the strings of my sleeping bag so tight it leaves no space but for my nose and mouth in order to breathe. But then my nose gets really cold, so often I cover my face with my silk sleeping bag liner. (Thank you nice helpful guy at REI, that silk sleeping bag liner is totally worth $70. I can't think of another $70 object that has given my so much pleasure. An object that keeps me warm at night is akin to one that saves me from being eaten alive by sharks.) The silk liner is breathable, so you can put it over your face and breathe just fine. After my sleeping bag is set up, I have one hostel blanket under me and another over me. I look like a mummy, but I’m nice and cozy. After all this work to be warm at night, when I get up in the morning I can see my breath in the air of this fancy this hostel room. It really is a beautiful hostel (look at the photos, pretty no?); it’s an old Arab style house in the medina with lots of character, but zero warmth. Of course this is largely due to the fact that the functioning heater sitting in my room is not turned on. The nice proprietor is trying to save money. Thanks, buddy, you are super-cool. So since I can see my breath in the room, you can image how badly I want to take my clothes off. I do not. So I remove one of my two pajama pants, and pull jeans on over my cotton fish patterned pjs. Then I take off just one of the two or three sweaters I’ve worn to bed, leaving on the ones closest to my body and therefore still warm from my night sleep. Then I throw another sweater and usually two scarves on.

It’s cold here, but it is hard to paint an accurate picture of this chill. The daily temperatures fluctuate between the low 40s and maybe the mid 50s. But it is damp, everyone at the hostel has a cold, a hacking, gross sounding one, my teachers are sick too. It rains a little bit every day, just enough to make you chilly and uncomfortable. Everyone wears coats everywhere and no one takes them off inside. I wear two, the light spring time coat I brought and the down jacket I thought I’d only be using in London. I nearly considered leaving it there, thank god I didn't. Since it is damp everywhere the coats never really dry. Well nothing does really, so I’ve learned when trying to hand wash some items of clothing. This is no West Africa where washed clothing dry in less than an hour.

So since I try not to remove any clothing, or I make necessary switches from the warmth of my sleeping bag, you can image how much I want to take all my clothes off and get into a shower. I do not. Particularly since the water is often barely warmer than the air. Therefore, I have taken 3 showers in the past week and a half. And you would have too if it were 30 degrees outside at night and 30 degrees in the shower as well with a water temperature of 50. Well, my lack of showering is not gross as I have fabulous hair that takes a long time to get greasy. My hair was actually in training for this lack of shower business while at home over the holidays. If you’ve never been to Minnesota in December and/or January, you might be surprised to hear that it can be very cold. So while at home eating inhuman amounts of cookies, I rarely showered, because the bathroom is a rather cool room, and well, I didn’t want to be naked it in. So, back to the three showers in Tunis, I am furthermore not disgusting because I don’t think I have sweat since I was walking the Camino in September. Actually, that is disgusting but more for cookie-eating and not exercising reasons than for smelling bad reasons. So that means I should find a gym here, but it says nothing about how I smell, which is just fine, thanks.

So if anyone has asked me to describe myself as a character from Arrested Development, it certainly wouldn't have been Tobias. Until now, cause now I empathize, sometimes it's no fun to be naked. Seriously, even in the shower I try to curl up in little ball-like positions so that smaller portions of my skin are exposed to the air. I am going to a hammam this week, and I think I’m not even allowed to be naked there.